Ketuvot 50a ~ The Economic Costs of Raising Children

Kids Today

In a recent Pew study on the use of electronic media by children in the US was this remarkable finding: Nearly one-in-five parents of a child 11 or younger (17%) say that their child has their own smartphone. Here's another gem from the same report: More than one-third of parents with a child under 12 say their child began interacting with a smartphone before the age of 5. Some children have quite comfortable lives, it would seem.  But it wasn't always that way.

Kids Back Then 

Today's page of Talmud (Ketuvot 50a) reminds us of another kind of reality that children once faced. Back then, it was a much more harsh world. And not just because the kids were not given their own iPhone.  In fact, according to the Talmud, they were lucky just to get food and shelter. 

תלמוד בבלי כתובות דף נ עמוד א

אשרי שומרי משפט עושה צדקה בכל עת - וכי אפשר לעשות צדקה בכל עת? דרשו רבותינו שביבנה ... זה הזן בניו ובנותיו כשהן קטנים

““Happy are those who keep justice, who perform charity at all times” (Psalms 106:3). But is it possible to perform charity at all times? This, explained our Rabbis in Yavneh...refers to one who sustains his sons and daughters when they are minors.”

— Talmud Bavli, Ketuvot 50a.

In yesterday's Daf, we learned that a person's legal obligation to support their children ends when those children reach the age of six. From that age, the parents' obligations to give their children water, food and clothing is not a legal one, but a moral one. If a parent refuses to support a child older than six, the courts can impose pressure to do so. But there is no legal obligation to support your child once they reach the ripe old age of six.  Because of this ruling, the Talmud considers the support of minor children to be an act of charity.  (Try bringing that argument up the next time your child asks for a cellphone upgrade.)  Here is how this law is codified.  

שולחן ערוך אבן העזר הלכות כתובות סימן עא סעיף א

 חייב אדם לזון בניו ובנותיו עד שיהיו בני שש ...ומשם ואילך, זנן כתקנת חכמים עד שיגדלו. ואם לא רצה, גוערין בו ומכלימין אותו ופוצרין בו. ואם לא רצה, מכריזין עליו בצבור ואומרים: פלוני אכזרי הוא ואינו רוצה לזון בניו, והרי הוא פחות מעוף טמא שהוא זן אפרוחיו; ואין כופין אותו לזונן...במה דברים אמורים, בשאינו אמוד, אבל אם היה אמוד שיש לו ממון הראוי ליתן צדקה המספקת להם, מוציאים ממנו בעל כרחו, משום צדקה, וזנין אותם עד שיגדלו 

A person is obligated to support his sons and daughters until they reach the age of six...From that age, he is required by rabbinic decree to support them until they grow up. If he does not wish to support them, we admonish him until he complies.  If he still refuses, we announce to the public: "So-and-so is a cruel person, and does not wish to support his children. He is worse than an unclean  bird - even that bird cares for its chicks." But we cannot force him to support his children.  

But this only applies when we have assessed that indeed he cannot support them financially.  But if we assessed him, and found that he has the money to give to charity and this would allow the children to live, we take the money from him by force, in the name of charity, and support the children until they grow up. (Shulchan Aruch Even Ha'Ezer 71:1)

The Economic Costs of Raising Children

Raising children is an expensive undertaking.  It requires parents to put in years and years of emotional, material and psychological effort. Those material costs can be calculated, and here they are:

So according to the USDA, it costs - on average - about $241,000 to raise a child in the US. That sounds like a bargain to me.  It cost that just to put one of my children through through twelve years of their Jewish school. And that's before I'd bought them a slice of bread. Or an iPhone.

Families Projected to Spend an Average of $233,610 Raising a Child Born in 2015. From here.

“For someone making $60,000 a year, in America, that’s middle class...But in this Orthodox community, $60,000 means you aren’t going to make it.”

— Rabbi Ilan Feldman, leader of Congregation Beth Jacob, interviewed in Tablet, July 11, 2014.

Research by the sociologists Sabino Kornrich and Frank Furstenberg has demonstrated that the way Americans spend money on their children has changed over the last several decades.  It turns out that before the the 1990s, parents spent most on children in their teen years. However, after the 1990s, spending patterns shifted, and was greatest when children were under the age of 6 and in their mid-twenties. We've also changed the where we spend on our children - and education now accounts for more than half of what US parents spend on their children. 

Average spending per child by year and percentage of expenditures in each area for all households with children age 0 to 24. From Kornrich and Furstenburg.  Investing in Children. Demography 2013. 50:1-23.

There's some good news too, for girls. In the 1970s, parents in households with only male children spent significantly more than parents in households with only female children - and nearly all of that extra money was spent on education. But by the early 2000s, the data showed a reversal: households with only female children spent more than households with only male children. 

Kronrich and Fursetnberg concluded that parents are investing more heavily in their children now than in the past. "While scholars debate exactly which resources matter most for children’s development... parents are demonstrating a substantial willingness to spend in order to better their children’s circumstances. These results mirror other shifts in parental behavior: parents are having fewer children and, through a range of activities like spending time with their children and choosing activities that impart cultural capital, are investing more intensively in the children they do have." 

Treat Your Children Well

Jewish law considers the support of a child to be an act of charity rather than a legal obligation. There is a similar ruling that shows an interesting symmetry at the other end of the spectrum. The Shulchan Aruch (הלכות צדקה סימן רנא) writes

 וכן הנותן מתנות לאביו והם צריכים להם, הרי זה בכלל צדקה

... a child who gives a gift to his parent who needs it, can include this as an act of charity

Just as you are not legally obligated to support your children when they are young, your children have no legal obligation to support you in your old age.  If they choose to do so, their act is one of charity. So treat your children well; they'll be the ones who will choose your nursing home.

“Spending on children is one of the most direct ways that parents can invest in children. Parental spending can buy children experiences that build human and cultural capital: high-quality education, residence in better neighborhoods, and potentially high-quality child care while children are young and parents are at work.”

— Kornrich and Furstenburg. Investing in Children. Demography 2013. 50:3.

Ketuvot 41 ~ Good Dog. Bad Dog.

“Az a yid hot a hunt, iz oder der hunt keyn hunt nit, oder der yid iz keyn yid nit

If a Jew has a dog, either the dog is no dog, or the Jew is no Jew”

— Sholem Aleichem. Rabtshik. Mayses far Yidishe Kinder. Ale Verk. Warsaw 1903.

On today's page of Talmud, Rabbi Natan offered the following advice:

תלמוד בבלי כתובות דף מא עמוד ב 

ר' נתן אומר: מנין שלא יגדל אדם כלב רע בתוך ביתו, ולא יעמיד סולם רעוע בתוך ביתו? שנאמר: ולא תשים דמים בביתך

Rabbi Natan said: From where do we learn that a person should not raise a bad dog in his house, and should not place a rickety ladder in his house? [From the Torah, where] it states "You shall not place blood in your house" (Deut 22:8).

[First, a disclaimer. I've owned dogs all of my married life. Still, I'll try to be as objective as possible.] 

Jews and dogs don't traditionally get along. In Bava Kamma 93a, Rabbi Eliezer does not mince his words: 

רבי אליעזר הגדול אומר: המגדל כלבים כמגדל חזירים .למאי נפקא מינה?

למיקם עליה בארור

“Rabbi Eliezer the Great said: Someone who breeds dogs is like someone who breeds pigs. What is the practical outcome of this comparison? To teach that those who breed dogs are cursed...”

— Bava Kamma 83a

The American Veterinary Medical Association estimates that in the US there are about 43 million households that own almost 84 million dogs; that means 45% of the households in the US own a dog. In the UK, an estimated 34% of all households own a dog.

Bad Dogs

There are some really bad dogs. In a 10 year period from 2000-2009, one paper identified 256 dog-bite related fatalities in the US. Of course that's a tiny number compared to the overall number of dogs owned, but that's still 256 too many; the tragedy is compounded when you read that over half the victims were less than ten years old. 

Partaken, GJ. et al. Co-occurrence of potentially preventable factors in 256 dog bite–related fatalities in the United States (2000–2009). Journal of the American Veterinary Medical Association 2013. 243:12: 1726-1736.

Fatalities from dog bites are rare. Dog bites are not. Over my career as an emergency physician I must have treated hundreds of patients with dog bites. And my experience is pretty typical. One recent study estimated that more than half the population in the US will be bitten by an animal at some time, and that dogs are responsible for 80-90% of these injuries. 

Good Dogs

Although Jews are thought not to have a historical affinity for dogs, one theologian has reassessed the evidence. In his 2008 paper Attitudes toward Dogs in Ancient Israel: A Reassessment, Geoffrey Miller  suggests that in fact dogs were not shunned in Israelite society. He notes that the remains of over a thousand dogs were discovered in a dog cemetery near Ashkelon dating from about the 5th century BCE. It was described as "by far the largest animal cemetery known in the ancient world" by Lawrence Stager who also pointed out that during this period, Ashkelon was a Phoenician city - not a Jewish one. Miller surveys several mentions of dogs in the Bible and the Book of Tobit, and concludes that at least some Israelites "valued dogs and did not view them as vile, contemptible creatures." Joshua Schwartz from Bar-Ilan University surveyed Dogs in Jewish Society in the Second Temple Period and in the Time of the Mishnah and Talmud (a study that marked "...the culmination of several years of study of the subject of dogs...").  He found that while "most of the Jewish sources from the Second Temple period and the time of the Mishnah and Talmud continue to maintain the negative attitude toward dogs expressed in the Biblical tradition" there were some important exceptions. There were sheep dogs (Gen. Rabbah 73:11) and hunting dogs (Josephus, Antiquities 4.206) and guard dogs (Pesahim 113a), and yes, even pet dogs (Tobit, 6:2), though Schwartz concedes that "it is improbable that dogs in Jewish society were the objects of the same degree of affection as they received in the Graeco-Roman world or the Persian world."  

“תלמוד ירושלמי (ונציה) מסכת תרומות פרק ח דף מו טור א /ה”ג

זמין חד רבן ואייתיב כלבא גביה אמר ליה ביזיון אנא חייב לך אמר ליה רבי טיבו אנא משלם ליה שביין עלון לקרתא עאל חד מינהון בעא מינסב איתתי ואכל ביציו

A certain person invited a sage to his home, and [the householder] sat his dog next to him. [The sage] asked him, ‘How did I merit this insult?’ [The house-holder] responded, ‘My master, I am repaying him for his goodness. Kidnappers came to the town, one of them came and wanted to take my wife, and the dog ate his testicles.’”

— PT Terumot 8:7

Whatever your feeling about dogs, let’s be sure to remember that they serve alongside soldiers in the IDF, where they save lives. In 1969, Motta Gur (yes, the same Mordechai "Motta" Gur who commanded the unit that liberated the Temple Mount in the Six Day War, and who uttered those amazing words "The Temple Mount is in our hands!" הר הבית בידינו‎,) wrote what was to become a series of children's books called Azit, the Canine Paratrooper (later turned into a popular feature film with the same title. It was once available on Netflix.

But IDF dogs don't just feature in fiction. They are a fact, and an amazing addition to the IDF, where they make up the Oketz unit.  Here's a news report (in Hebrew) about the amazing work these dogs - and their handlers - perform. Keep them in your prayers.

Ketuvot 36 ~ The Aylonit Syndrome and Turner's Syndrome

“ איילונית - אין לה לא קנס ולא פיתוי
​ There is no fine for the rape or seduction of an Aylonit

”

— Ketuvot, 36a

Aylonit Syndrome

An Aylonit is a woman who is congenitally unable to have childern.  In the fifth chapter of Niddah (47b) the Mishnah describes the signs which suggest that a woman is an Aylonit:

תלמוד בבלי נדה דף מז עמוד ב 

...בת עשרים שנה שלא הביאה שתי שערות, תביא ראיה שהיא בת עשרים שנה - והיא איילונית, לא חולצת ולא מתיבמת

A woman who is twenty years old and has not grown two pubic hairs..is classified as an Aylonit...

Earlier in our current tractate, Ketuvot (11a), the Talmud suggested the etymology of the word Aylonit:  "איילונית - דוכרנית דלא ילדה - an Aylonit [is given this name] as if she is a ram [דכר is the Aramic translation of the Hebrew word איל– a ram] which [being a male] cannot give birth"

In the last tractate that we studied (Yevamot 80b) the Talmud gives four other signs of this condition, which are codified by Maimonides:

רמב"ם הלכות אישות פרק ב הלכה ו 

ואלו הן סימני אילונית, כל שאין לה דדין, ומתקשה בשעת תשמיש, ואין לה שיפולי מעיים כנשים, וקולה עבה ואינה ניכרת בין איש לאשה

These are the signs that a woman is an Aylonit: She has not developed breasts, she has difficulty during sexual intercourse [that is, she has a diminished libido], the mons pubis is lacking, and she has such a deep voice that it is indistinguishable from that of a man...(Mishneh Torah, Hil. Ishus, 2:6)

There are many reasons for a woman to be infertile, but because the Talmud lists a number of signs other than infertility, we are able to narrow down the possible causes in the special case of the Aylonit. As many have previously noted, the cause of the Aylonit is likely to be what, (since 1938) we now call Turner's Syndrome.  

Turner's Syndrome

In 1938 an American endocrinologist names Henry Turner published a paper describing a newly observed syndrome in seven female patients. (A syndrome is a series of medical abnormalities which occur together.) It consisted of a triad of infantilism, a webbed neck, and a deformity of the elbow. It was found only in female patients, and was associated with delayed or absent sexual development. We now know (and Turner did not) that it is caused by a genetic aberration in which the patient has a missing X chromosome. Instead of carrying 44 regular and two X chromosomes, a woman with (what we now call) Turner's Syndrome has one missing X chromosome. (It gets a little more complicated: in some cases of Turner's Syndrome the woman has only part of one of the X chromosomes missing. And in others, the women's cells contain a mixture of both normal - 45XX - and abnormal - 45X - chromosomes. This is called mosaicism. But let's keep our focus.)

Sex chromosome analyses in Turner's Syndrome.  Here the 22 pairs of autosomes are grouped according to size and the sex chromosomes placed at the end; in this case, there is only one X chromosome.  From Saenger and Bondy. Turner Syndrome. In Sperling M. (ed.) Pediatric Endocrinology. Pittsburgh PA, Elsevier 2014.

Turner's Syndrome occurs in about 1 out of every 2,000 live-born girls. In addition to infertility in most, there are liver problems, high blood pressure, cardiac disorders and various metabolic disorders. Most of the girls with Turner's Syndrome have skeletal abnormalities and a short stature. In girls with the 45X variant, there is ovarian failure and hence infertility, although the cause is not yet clear.    

The variable appearance of Turner syndrome. Both of these 7-year-old girls with short stature have the 45X variant of Turner syndrome. The girl on the left was diagnosed at birth due to prominent neck webbing and low-set and posteriorly rotated ears. She also has micrognathia and a low posterior hairline. In contrast, the girl on the right was diagnosed at age 7 due to short stature without “classical” stigmata of Turner syndrome, and she is more typical of the clinical presentation of the majority of girls with Turner syndrome diagnosed in the 21st century.  From Saenger and Bondy. Turner Syndrome. In Sperling M. (ed.) Pediatric Endocrinology. Pittsburgh PA, Elsevier 2014. 

“Girls and women with Turner syndrome may have low self-esteem and more shyness and social anxiety than controls. In a population-based study of 566 French women with Turner syndrome, low self- esteem was associated with hearing impairment and limited sexual experience, whereas age at first sexual intercourse was related to age at puberty and paternal socioeconomic class.”

— Levitsky, L. Turner Syndrome. Current Opinion Endocrinology, Feb 2015

A study of Polish women with Turner's Syndrome, found that these women had less "...interest in males, less frequent sexual activity, later initiation of sexual life and a less frequent orgasm rate." Other studies found that women with this syndrome were less likely to establish a relationship with a partner, and were less sexually active than women from the general population. All this suggests that the Talmud's description in which they suffer from "difficulties during intercourse" (מתקשה בשעת תשמיש) may be correct.   

Let's remember that behind these scientific findings are real women with the same range of  sensitivities, feelings, hopes and aspirations as those of us who have two functioning sex chromosomes.  Let's give the last word to Harley Gould, a researcher at the National Institutes of Health:

“Moreover, it is important to remember that society continues to dis- criminate against people that are different, and that being short, or infertile, or looking different impose quite a social burden on individuals... Our demonstration of very similar academic, employment...suggests that genomic imprinting of X-linked genes has little to do with functioning in school or socially...We would like to add to that concept the positive observation that many individuals with Turner Syndrome display excellent coping skills, including perseverance in the face of adversity and equability of temperament.”

— Harley Gould et al. High Levels of Education and Employment Among Women with Turner Syndrome. Journal of Women's Health 2013. 22:(3) 230-235.

Ketuvot 29 ~ The Terror of Rape

משנה מסכת כתובות פרק ג משנה א 

אלו נערות שיש להן קנס הבא על הממזרת ועל הנתינה ועל הכותית הבא על הגיורת ועל השבויה ועל השפחה שנפדו ושנתגיירו ושנשתחררו פחותות מבנות שלש שנים ויום אחד הבא על אחותו ועל אחות אביו ועל אחות אמו ועל אחות אשתו ועל אשת אחיו ועל אשת אחי אביו ועל הנדה יש להן קנס אף על פי שהן בהכרת אין בהן מיתת בית דין: 

These are the girls (aged between twelve and twelve and a half) for whom a fine is levied for raping them...

Today we begin to study the third chapter of Ketuvot, which focuses on the damages to be paid to a virgin who was raped, (or seduced,) by a man. These laws were later codified in the Shulkan Arukh, the code of Jewish Law, written by R. Yosef Karo (d. 1575) in sixteenth century Israel. Here they are. Read them carefully.

שולחן ערוך אבן העזר הלכות אונס ומפתה סימן קעז 

סעיף א

 המפתה בתולת ישראל (עד שלא תבגר, והיא מבת שלשה ואילך) (טור הרא"ש), משלם בושת ופגם וקנס. ואם אנסה, משלם עוד צער. ואם נשאה המפתה, אינו צריך ליתן קנס

One who seduces a virgin of Israel before she reaches majority age, which is from three years and onward (Tur, the Rosh) pays embarrassment, blemishing and a fine. And if he rapes her he also pays the pain. And if the seducer married her he need not pay the fine.

סעיף ב

אונס ומפתה, דנין אותה בשלשה דיינים, ובלבד שיהיו סמוכים, בא"י. והאידנא שאין סמוכים, מנדין אותו עד שפייס את חבירו; וכד יהיב ליה שיעור מאי דחזי למיהב, שדינן ליה. (והבת, כל זמן שהיא ברשות אביה, הכל לאביה (גם זה שם). ועיין בטור סימן זה שהאריך בדינים אלו, והרב המחבר קצר בהם, שאינם שכיחין

A rapist or a seducer is judged by three judges, as long as they were ordained in the land of Israel. And now when there are no such ordained judges, we excommunicate them until they appease their fellow. And when they give an amount of money to him that is appropriate, we release their excommunication. And as for a daughter, as long as she is in her father's domain, her father gets everything (ibid). See Tur in this paragraph who discussed this matter at length, and the Shulkhan Arukh abbreviated them, for this is not common. 

סעיף ג

האונס את הבתולה, חייב לישא אותה, ובלבד שהיא ואביה יהיו מרוצים, אפי' היא חגרת או סומא, ואינו רשאי להוציאה לעולם אלא לרצונה. לפיכך אין צריך לכתוב לה כתובה. ואם עבר והוציאה, כופין אותו להחזירה

One who rapes a virgin must marry her, as long as she and her father so desire. Even if she is lame or blind. And he may never divorce her except with her consent. Therefore, he need not write her a ketubah. But if he transgressed and divorced her, they force him to remarry her.

As an emergency physician, I cared for a number of women who have been raped.  I interviewed them, examined them, and collected forensic evidence. The horror of their having been assaulted was, I am sure, compounded by my legally necessary but emotionally gratuitous clinical exam. There is a danger that the talmudic discussion can likewise seem overly clinical. But behind the legal back and forth is a brutal reality. To help keep the victim front and center, let's talk about the crime of rape.

International Rape Statistics

Rape plagues society everywhere. It's really hard to get accurate statistics to compare countries, since reporting rates and definitions of what actually constitutes rape vary. With that caveat, here's what the UN found:

Penalties for Rape

United States. In 2008, there were about 203,000 victims of rape age 12 and older. The penalties for rape vary by state. In New York, rape in the first degree is a felony that carries a penalty of 5-25 years in prison. In New Jersey, first degree sexual assault carries a sentence of 10-20 years. In Massachusetts, rape that results "in serious injury" (doesn't all rape result in that?) is punishable by life in prison, and no less that 20 years if committed by force (isn't that all rape?). The rape of a child under 16 carries a similar penalty. In 1977 the Supreme Court ruled that under the Eighth Amendment, the rape of an adult woman could not carry the death penalty. There are almost 160,000 men in prison for rape in the US.

US. Department of Justice. Office of Justice Programs, Bureau of Justice Systems. Prisoners in 2013.

United Kingdom. Rape carries a penalty of 11-17 years in custody, with a minimum of 10 years in prison if the victim was a child between 13 and 16 years of age.  If the victim was under 13, the starting penalty is 13 years in prison. The average time served for rape in the UK is eight years.

Israel. Rape of an adult carries a penalty of 4-16 years in prison. In addition the victim may receive damages of up to 228,000 NIS. Rape of a child under 16, or carried out with a firearm, or with the assistance of another person, carries a minimum sentence of 20 years (see חוק העונשים התשל׳ז–1977, and later amendments). 

Causes of Intentional Injury by Gender and Population. From Gofin, R. et al. Intentional Injuries Among the Young; Presentation to Emergency Rooms, Hospitalization and Death in Israel.  Journal of Adolescent Health 2000:27:433-44.

In a study of children with intentional injuries treated in Israeli ERs, the rates for rape were 1.5 times higher in Jewish children than Arab children. 

“Although selected cases may reach the ER, it is estimated that between 1-4 in 10 or 20 cases of rape are reported. Stigmatization, fear, and feelings of shame or guilt may preclude rape disclosure by victims or their caretakers.”

— Rosa Gofin. Intentional Injuries Among the Young In Israel, 2000.

Jewish law. Rape (including rape of a child older than three) is punishable by a fine of 50 shekels paid to the father of the victim.  The rapist is required to marry his victim (unless she or her father refuses) and he cannot forcibly divorce her.  In addition, the rapist must pay damages for pain and suffering and monetary loss, the latter based on the lower value a woman who is not a virgin has in the market for marriage. If the rapist marries the victim, some of these fines are not levied. There are no fines for the rape of a child under three, or the rape of an unmarried  woman who is not a virgin. Rape of a married woman is punishable by death.

A President of Israel, A Convicted Rapist

In December 2010, then President of Israel Moshe Katsav was convicted of rape while he had been  serving as Israel's Minister of  Tourism in 1998. The verdict was upheld by the Israeli Supreme Court, and Katsav began his seven-year prison sentence in December 2011. The national shame at this crime was perhaps slightly mitigated by one of its lessons, articulated by Prime Minister Netanyahu, "that all are equal before the law, and that every woman has exclusive rights to her body."

In his commentary to R. Karo's  שולחן ערוך that we read above,  R. Moshe  Isserles (d.1572)  explained that the שולחן ערוך did not detail some of the the laws of rape, because it was such a rare crime - (הרב המחבר קצר בהם, שאינם שכיחין).  How wrong, how very sadly wrong, he was.